I am silent. I talk. I stand still. I walk. Whatever I do, wherever I am, I draw attention. In the States, I am comfortable in my cocoon-I am content being unseen, living inside of a bubble, isolated from public eyes. But here there is no escape. Bubbles do not even exist. I am an animal in a zoo, I am a painting in a museum, a song to be heard, even skin to feel. It is the first time in my life (for an extended period of time)that I am labeled as "the other." Sometimes it's exhilirating-arousing sensations I have never truly felt, to be the origin of commotion, the cause of attention...and it can be fun. But then there are other times when I feel like I am being picked a part like a flower, petal by petal...the incessant gazes feel like slaps on the face...as disgust crosses their own...
It's just an unfamiliar experience-it's not unusual to be in a rickshaw and have a driver or passenger next to us stare us down while we are stopped in traffic. I have yet to use the word "jolu," which means in Kannada something like stop drooling....

I know the staring is a result of immense curiosity and my friends and I occasionally find humor in the situation. Because it's as if they are thinking, "Oh my god there is a white person! Everyone look!! Oh my god! Hey guys, look! AHHH!!" But sometimes I feel as if the thoughts are a bit more sinister. Last night, as I was recharging my phone at this vendor/outside convenience store type spot, I asked one of the employees and the young men around him about dancing in Bangalore. Ever since I arrived here, I've been hearing rumors about a dancing ban and I wanted to hear it from the Indians themselves. Most of the guys who were right next to me just bobbled their head and didn't give me any real answer...and then an older man to my right said "Yes, no dancing in Bangalore." He also said that it had been in place for three months. When I addressed the young men, I had asked if it was true about the ban and why it was in place. When the older man spoke, I turned to face him. "It's offensive," he continued. I think I broke a taboo and stared him down. No bobbles came from me. He saw my western eyes questioning his remark and said "women should show respect." I think I smiled to my friend Abby and started to walk away, baffled by the fact that Bollywood films are completely filled with music and dance and yet there's a rule against it. As we walked through the pack of men he said to us "go to Goa." I turned back, "or private party," he said. I think there was a bobble from my part. For those who aren't familiar with the geography of India, Goa is a state in the south western part of the country, a big hit with tourists because of its sandy beaches and heavily Portuguese influence. The British were never there and it developed in a very different way from the rest of India. There are even nude beaches! We're all planning to go.

Tommorrow we move into our apartments and I could not be more excited. We saw the accomodations yesterday and they are fantastic. Absolutely incredible. Brand new with plenty of space and already partially furnished. They were not completely ready when I saw them yesterday-our landlord's wife just passed away and they are a little behind, but we should have most of everything done for tommorrow. The location is insane. I don't know how to even begin to describe it. All I'll say right now is when we were there, there was music blasting from houses across from us-such a nice, perfect welcome! So many people live around us...the houses are very colorful, I can't wait to be there...a little worried about the noise, but it will all work out.

I haven't even been here for a week. It's the strangest thing. A week ago I was still in the states. Unbelievable, I feel like I've been here for so long already. I'm really looking forward to this weekend-I have so much to see in this city! I've already found a fabulous hang out spot called Infinitea, right on Cunningham road and about five minute walk from our center. I had dinner there yesterday and some tea and dessert today...it's a really great place...wonderful food...the largest and most interesting selection of teas I've ever seen. I have a feeling they'll be seeing a lot of me.